https://tarflog.com Fragments of a field researcher's log, declassified without explanation. en https://tarflog.com/log/day-0500/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0500/ Wed, 08 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT You keep asking about the cats. I am not authorized to discuss the cats. https://tarflog.com/log/day-0209/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0209/ Tue, 07 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT For eleven months I was an emperor of Rome. A clerical error. Rome had no procedure for stepping down. The Council has a form for everything — form 7-C, "unrequested authority". I translated it into Latin and submitted it. Rome accepted it. Bureaucracies recognize each other. Your historians call me a usurper. Usurpation requires intent. I wanted to go home. https://tarflog.com/log/day-1206/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-1206/ Mon, 06 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT There are two hundred and fourteen recordings of my true form online. All of them are labeled "fake". Your machines see the truth. You trained yourselves not to believe them. I no longer avoid cameras. Filed. https://tarflog.com/log/day-0356/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0356/ Sun, 05 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT Humans select mates by sorting portraits with one finger. Left — no. Right — perhaps. An entire civilization. Sorting itself. With a finger. I have nothing to add to this report. https://tarflog.com/log/day-0091/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0091/ Sat, 04 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT Humans built a device that interrupts their favorite activity to begin their least favorite. Then they added a button that delays this by nine minutes. Not ten. Nine. The Council has asked me to stop reporting on the button. https://tarflog.com/log/day-0289/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0289/ Fri, 03 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT Humans pay a monthly fee to lift heavy objects and put them back down. The objects serve no purpose. On my world, we move objects when objects require moving. Here, this is considered a lack of ambition. https://tarflog.com/log/day-0012/ https://tarflog.com/log/day-0012/ Thu, 02 Jul 2026 00:00:00 GMT Humans purchase a hot liquid that makes them anxious. Daily. Voluntarily. The subject said he cannot function without it. He then failed to function with it. Filed.